The general word on the street is that it doesn’t matter about the shape or size of your breasts. You can breastfeed if you try and that to say you can’t do it because of the shape of your breasts is wrong.
There are a small percentage of women with tubular or hypo plastic breasts - about half of these women can go on to breast feed and others can’t.
After my first son was born in 2005 I saw the local Lactation Consultant three times because he wasn’t gaining weight. He continued to lose weight and after the third appointment I was made to feel ashamed at the thought of bottle feeding so I never returned.
I wanted to do something so I started giving my son formula after each breast feed. He would take about 70mls of formula so I knew I must not have been giving him much milk. After this his weight increased and he was contented. I continued this routine until he was eight weeks old, when I finally thought ‘this is silly’ and stopped breast feeding altogether.
The lactation consultant had never mentioned the shape of my breast being a potential problem. I was shattered and felt a failure that I couldn't manage, especially because all my friends and family didn’t seem to have any problems.
My second baby, another boy, was born in 2007. I saw a lactation consultant again, both before the birth and for three weeks afterwards. On bringing our son home he would feed and feed all the time and I wondered again if he wasn't getting enough milk. After the second visit to the lactation consultant - he had lost weight so we tried breast compressions, pumping whenever I could and herbs; fenugreek and milk thistle; anything to try and to boost my milk supply.
The last appointment we had, he had lost more weight. It was then she told me the shape of my breast may be a problem. She went and got a book showing my pictures of normal breasts and pictures of deformed breasts - breasts like mine, underdeveloped tubular breasts. I always knew my breasts were odd but never thought I wouldn’t be able to breast feed. My husband was with me at that visit, it must have been meant to be because I really felt his support - he knew how much I wanted this. I told myself before I went that if our son had lost weight again I would give him formula. The lactation consultant suggested I could try drugs from the Dr, ( Domperidome) in a further effort to increase supply, but warned me that in order for the drug to work there needs to be sufficient glandular tissue in the breast to increase supply. The problem with underdeveloped breasts is a lack of glandular tissue so it was unlikely that the drug would work.
We left the appointment and bought some formula. We went home and I snuggled up with my son - locking myself away in a room and feeding him a bottle. I cried as he guzzled it down. I wouldn’t let anyone near us as I spent the afternoon mourning what couldn’t be. I insisted that I be the only one to feed him and felt so dispensable as his mother.
After a few weeks I began to turn this horrible, negative thing into a positive experience - bottle feeding has many benefits. Primarily, if we didn't have formula my boys would be dead. Others feel that is dramatic to say but it is true. Just as modern science saves that lives of babies and mothers when caesareans are performed, science saved my babies from starvation.
I hope other women who struggle to breastfeed read this and ‘google’ underdeveloped breasts. Until now I didn’t know this condition existed even though I look at it everyday. There are so many issues surrounding underdeveloped breasts - embarrassment mainly because the breasts are unattractive, but other women need to know they aren’t alone.
I don't know anyone else with this condition but I know others must have it and feel confused and let down by medical professionals saying we can all breastfeed.
I don't feel like I've failed anymore - I can't help the way I was born. Everyone’s life is different and some people choose to bottle feed to fit with issues and routines in their life. I still bonded with my boys and was a happy mummy.
I know if we are ever brave enough to have a third baby, I will be at complete peace with bottle feeding knowing that it will be the right thing for me, my baby and my family.
I am 35yrs old and had my first baby in January this year. I had an amazing pregnancy and chose to be under the care of a private obstetrician so was fully prepared for all the options for my wee girl's birth. What I was not prepared for and now feel so let down in antenatal care was the dramas I had with breastfeeding.
By the end of my daughters second day the midwives commended me on my latch and good breastfeeding technique and I thought, wow this isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. However that night she would not settle, was awake and constantly wanting the breast. My milk still had not come in and she was just getting colostrum. The next day the midwives suggested we supplement our feeds with formula so she could get some food, we could get some sleep and I could pump to help the milk come in. She sculled down a large bottle of formula. She had lost 12% of her birth weight at the end of the hospital stay and still I did not receive any information about why that might have been, but to keep pumping and don’t worry the milk will come in.
Thankfully I had a very open minded post natal midwife who after three visits (day 13) when my daughter was still losing weight and my milk had still not come in told us she was ketotic and essentially starving. She suggested supplementing our breastfeeding with formula at each feed. I was really ok with this as I wanted my wee girl to get some food into her. I was still under the impression that I would be able to exclusively breastfeed once my milk came in.
I began taking natural supplements and domperidone (at the maximum dose) in an effort to help increase milk supply. I had blood tests which returned normal and my daughter had blood and urine tests which were also normal. I was feeding her three hourly and pumping in the middle with the hospital double pump (an hour and a half after her feed), so she would get 15 minutes on each breast, expressed breast milk and then a formula top. I carried on doing this until she was eight weeks old and arrived at the Plunket Family Centre exhausted, confused, and emotional and feeling very inadequate that I still was unable to exclusively breastfeed. My little girl was still hovering between the 3rd and 25th percentile for her weight. I kept searching the internet, discussion forums and books about why I had such low milk supply, I was healthy, my mother and sister breastfed successfully, I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t and what had I done wrong. My husband was amazing, he kept reassuring me that it didn’t matter how she got food and that it was not about me.
The more searching I did I became more upset with the breast is best philosophy and felt even more inadequate that somehow I hadn’t given my daughter the best start.
The Family Centre were amazing, the nurse commended me on all my hard work and told me to stop pumping, even if she got 1-2mls of breast milk into her, that was ok.
I continued to do this until she was four months old and then weaned her. I stopped taking the domperidone and my milk dried up in two days. I grieved again that she would not suck on my breast; I felt very self conscious about the potential of feeding her in public and what would people think when they saw a bottle.
Now another month down the track, my girl is thriving. She is fully formula fed and started baby rice this week (which she loves), she is still little but she is healthy, happy and content.
When I think back to those first few days, I still get quite teary at the thought that I was not providing enough milk for her and she was starving. I get teary at the fact that I am an educated, professional woman who demands knowledge and options to address issues and not once did I ever entertain the possibility that I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed. I get teary at the guilt trip I put myself on.
BUT I get very mad at the lack of information and knowledge in the community that sometimes breast isn’t best and the judgements and assumptions made about formula feeding. I am mad that there is a lack of information about bottle feeding, that antenatal class and post birth hospital stays do not address bottle feeding. I felt so isolated and that I was the only woman in the world going through this. I wanted to tell my story to help others who might be going through the same experiences that we did.
When my daughter was born she had no problems attaching and at first breastfeeding was very natural and very easy. I come from a family of die hard hippies and it was never even a consideration that I wouldn’t breastfeed! My baby fed pretty much every two hours for about an hour and at first I had quite a lot of milk. After about three months however, the feeds remained just as long - and they became even more frequent. Eventually I found myself feeding an hour on and an hour off. When my baby was off she was very grumpy and irritable. I was gaining weight from constantly sitting on the couch and feeling completely depressed and over tired.
I consulted breastfeeding specialists and midwives - some of whom were sceptical about my milk drying up. They all claimed that it was rare that milk would dry up and thought that maybe my daughter wasn't attaching properly. Some recommended Funnugreek and Blessed Thistle- natural remedies that are supposed to increase milk production. None of this seemed to have any effect on my supply.
Perhaps the worst pressure was put on me from my mother who was convinced that I was giving up breastfeeding because of pressure from my mother in law and my husband. (My mother in law bottle fed my husband when he was a baby and there was definitely pressure there for me to bottle feed.)In the end, she was quite supportive of me quitting when she saw the state I was getting myself into.
The final straw was when I took my baby into her health appointment and we saw that her weight was dropping off the charts. When she was born, she was only in the 2nd percentile. Over the course of the first three months she dropped to the 0.4th percentile, then off the charts. People would always comment on how thin she was. Looking at pictures of her now I realise that she was way thinner than many other babies her age.
At this point, I decided that I was giving her a bottle and I didn't care what anyone said about it. I stopped breastfeeding completely over about two weeks and you wouldn’t believe what a life change this was for me! I suddenly had my life back. I was able to go out without worrying where I would feed her or if she would cry. I wasn’t sitting on the couch 24/7 and so felt like I had way more energy. I started loosing my baby weight, and most importantly - my daughter was like a different baby. She was so much happier and full of life - I actually enjoyed waking up and knowing that I would have another amazing day with her!
It’s amazing how much pressure people put on you to breastfeed. I think sometimes they forget that there are occasions where breastfeeding isn’t the best thing for both mother and baby. I am still an avid believer in breastfeeding and I am surely going to give it another go when we have our next child. The only difference is that I won’t be so determined to make it work if the signs show that it isn’t best for me or for my baby.
Good luck to all other mums out there...... and just remember that your mental health and the health ofyour baby come first. We are mums and we will always do what we feel is best for our children - even if it means giving them formula over breast milk!
In September 2008 I gave birth to my second daughter who I often refer to as my "karma" baby. Her older sister was born in 2003 and I successfully and exclusively breastfed her for four months at which point my right breast dried up. I really didn't think too much about it at the time as she was moving on to solids and we were beginning to supplement with formula so we could go out etc. When my first daughter was born I was definitely guilty of looking down on those who bottle fed, and often thought to myself that these women just weren't trying hard enough or wanted to make motherhood easier on themselves.
When my second daughter was born we started having input/output issues right away. She latched well and was sucking but had not had a bowel movement beyond the meconium that was present at delivery. Within days she was losing weight and we were making frequent trips to the midwifery. My midwives admitted to being baffled by my situation, as baby's latch looked fine and I had had such an easy time of it with daughter number one. After many visits to the midwifery and a clinic the midwives suggested we supplement with formula. The amount of formula kept increasing each day until my baby was essentially formula fed. Through the combined use of Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, and Domperidone I was able to supplement her with breast milk for five months.
Those 5 months were HARD. I was pumping 3 or 4 times a day and was only producing enough for one feed every 48 hours. At one point I was taking upwards of 20 pills/supplements a day. When people would look at me with judgment in their eyes I would have to resist the urge to tell them my whole story. But I understood where they were coming from - I had looked on others in the same way. Hence my baby's nickname of "karma baby".
I had every intention of breastfeeding because of how cost effective it was. I also knew that it was the healthiest choice for my baby. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned with any of my three children. I had lots of support from my mom but at the same time I felt a lot of pressure from her insisting that it was my only option as formula is so expensive.
I think with my oldest, I was just too young. I was 15 and not really comfortable with the idea of it. I remember her being about three weeks of age and waking up in the middle of the night exhausted and frustrated and having difficulties with getting her latched and I said to myself this is crazy. I was returning to school shortly and couldn't see how I would be successful if I couldn't get a good night’s sleep. The decision was very easy to make and I felt good about my choice.
My middle daughter had no problems latching. By the time she was three weeks old though she was not properly gaining weight. I was told by the doctor to breastfeed her and then offer her some formula. However, I did not have a very supportive partner at that time. If I was having a bath or something and she woke up crying he would just make a bottle of formula and feed it to her. He would also get upset that he couldn't take the baby anywhere without me accompanying him. It was my daughter that made the decision in the end. She wouldn't latch any more and didn't want the breast so the switch was made.
My youngest daughter was born 10 days post term. She was my third child and came in to the world a whopping 9 lbs 14 oz. I had decided to try breastfeeding despite the difficulties I’d had in the past. By the time my daughter was three weeks old she had stopped gaining weight and had an awful habit of letting go of the breast and pushing herself away.
I went to a breastfeeding clinic and the family doctor and they suggested I supplement with formula. Having the same issues with my toddler when she was born, I switched her strictly to formula. About a week after the switch my daughter went into congestive heart failure.
Later, the doctors told me that the weight loss and the feeding difficulties were likely to have been due to the congenital heart defect that was discovered. Unfortunately, by then my milk had dried up and it would have been very difficult and stressful to try to get it flowing again.
I am happy with my choice even though at first I was really disappointed. I have, however, had wonderful support from public health nurse and my family doctor who have assured me that formula made by companies today is of excellent quality and that my children aren't lacking because they were bottle fed. As well, I am a single mom and I tell you it is pretty nice to be able to hand a bottle to someone else and say "Can you feed her?" once in a while to steal a little break ;)
