My breastfeeding pedigree…
I breastfed my daughter, now nine years old, for 13 months, and my son, now three years old for the same length of time. Looking back there were moments of brilliance when her/his royal highness looked at me with those lovely blue/brown eyes and smiled mid-feed, but these alternated with moments of utter despair with rock hard breasts that weighed a ton, painful raw nipples, a massive over-supply of milk, constant discomfort and some close run-ins with mastitis.
With my daughter I used nipple shields, which did not cause ‘nipple confusion’ but reduced the pain and the stimulation of the breast, and eventually at around four months (yes that is months not weeks!) the supply reduced to a comfortable level. I used cabbage leaves tucked into my bra on an almost daily basis in the early months, and took Panadol for the pain. Later at age six the school dental nurse diagnosed her with a crossbite and I wonder if this had some influence on how she fed and the damage to my nipples (over full breasts probably prevented her from latching on correctly as well).
With my son I saw a lactation consultant, but was told that all was well, despite painful nipples and blocked milk ducts. The cabbage leaves came out again, along with hot flannels and a towel to ‘drip’ into, as well as a topical herbal cream for symptomatic relief and some Sage tea. Many times I wanted to give up, but was too scared to try as I couldn’t see how it could be done with two large full breasts that weren’t just going to ‘dry up’ overnight. Again, after about three months the supply settled down, although I had to actively manage breasts and feeds to keep comfortable. I carried on until 13 months when much to my son’s chagrin I weaned him as I was going away for a weekend, childfree and with my now E-cup breasts all to myself!
Breast is best unless
Breast milk is the best food for babies, it is easy to digest, changes to suit the baby’s needs and boosts immunity. BUT despite what pregnant women are led to believe by various agencies and advertising, it isn’t always easy. For some women it can be downright uncomfortable and unpleasant, and doesn’t necessarily improve with time.
Despite my own experiences of breastfeeding I remain a passionate advocate and believe that with the correct advice and adequate support most women with healthy babies could, and should, breastfeed at least initially. For some mothers, for whatever reasons, bottle-feeding makes for a happier mother, and therefore baby. Ultimately rather than sticking religiously to one point of view or the other, that is what we are after at the end of the day.
Breastfeeding in decline
Sadly, breastfeeding is in decline, with less than 10% of mothers still breastfeeding at one year. It is no longer socially acceptable to be a stay-at-home mother for any length of time or to breastfeed longer than a year. We live in a society that expects that we will have the baby, have up to three months off, wean, place the child in care, and return to work. Parental leave entitlements only serve to reinforce this. The mothering role (or fathering role for that matter) has little value in society’s terms.
A social history
Traditionally women grew up in large extended families and from a young age would have been present at births, observed breastfeeding and how to care for infants first hand. Knowledge of these basic tenets of womanhood has now diminished and births are largely the domain of medical professionals. Childbirth and lactation have become processes to be ‘managed’ rather than something intuited by the woman concerned. This extends to getting babies into a ‘routine’, feeding 3-4 hourly, sleeping through the night separated from mum and dad in their own cot/room from an early age, and following expected patterns of behaviour.
This is fine if baby is a ‘model’ baby and happily conforms to the routine, but can be an unnecessary cause of frustration and stress if your baby requires more frequent feeds, wakes in the night or wants to be kept physically close.
Successful breastfeeding starts with YOU
Build yourself a support system of family, and friends with whom you can be ‘real’ about the highs and lows of motherhood. Be your own woman, be the mother that you want to be – whether that is a stay-at-home mother, a working mother or a combination of both.
Listen to advice, but make your own decisions based on what works for you, your baby and your family. Don’t feel you have to follow the flock, or adhere to someone else’s idea of the ideal routine. It doesn’t matter that everyone else’s babies at your Plunket group are sleeping through the night and yours is still waking for feeds! Trust yourself and your intuition.
Your health and the health of your baby is important. Breastfeeding needn’t be a battle. Used safely, herbs can successfully support breastfeeding, and treat post-natal health problems in both mothers and babies.